God's Own Crunk

I’ll be brief: we pissed away multiple chances to score in the first half, couldn’t hold a lead in the second, took the lead in extra time, couldn’t hold that and were lucky to get into PKs, then we missed our first two three PKs and lost – what a choke-job.

I hate being a hater, but Solo lost her wits in extra time – Japan ruffled her, and she resorted to the ol’ “I’m injured let’s waste some time” late in ET – the play after she got up, Japan tied it with poetic justice.

The PKs were a bloody disaster. First one was blocked, second one missed by a mile, third was a horrid shot and missed, four went in, but Japan scored its fourth and game over.

Congrats to Japan, but USA gave this match away. What a disappointment. /brex

Finally, this Cup has some life in it, although Japan’s shocker over Germany was decent toward the end. It’s rare that poetic justice is served in z’beautiful game, but USA-Brazil was a game of near-instant karma - exhilaration ensued after Rapinoe fed Wambach a perfect ball in the 123rd and final minute, and it was a match for the ages:

Once again, American courage and self-belief triumphed over Brazilian skill, and now the U.S. is moving on to the semifinals of the FIFA Womens World Cup.In one of the most epic games in the tournaments history, the U.S. came back from the dead to defeat the Samba Queens 5-3 on penalties, after extra time had finished 2-2. And it took as gutsy a performance as you will ever see. The Americans had been reduced to 10 players in the 66th minute due to Rachel Buehlers controversial red card. And when Marta scored her second goal of the match in the second minute of extra time, the Americans prospects looked bleak indeed.But Abby Wambachs thumping header in the 122nd minute — the latest goal in Womens World Cup history — brought the U.S. back on level terms, and that kind of adrenalin surge carried the Americans into the penalty shootout. Hope Solo delivered a superb one-handed save from Daiane in the third round, and Ali Krieger slotted home the game winner.

via Womens World Cup — Grading the U.S.s performance against Brazil — Jeff Carlisle – ESPN.

Here’s a hint. One of the five most exciting matches, men’s or womynz, I’ve ever seen.

Well, a day of long, long matches ended in disaster for Germany – 1-0, their first ever loss to Japan and it came at The Worst Time Ever. My pick – hell, everyone’s pick – to win the Cup played 120 minutes of shitty football, ceded a goal to Japan at 108′, and that is that.

Shockah!

At least it didn’t make it to PKs, like the equally bad France-England match. France missed their opening PK and Enlgand was in control, then England missed their fourth, France made their fifth, and England’s Captain blew her shot – game over.

Tomorrow USA plays Brazil which should be a very good match. If I was playing money, I’d play it on USA, but I don’t play that.

Four hours of football in six hours. Where’d my day go?

I can’t get the games due to work – was not happy to hear about this – the loss is bad enough, but having to play Brazil in the quarters sucks donkeycawk.

WOLFSBURG, Germany — The U.S. entered its group finale against Sweden with plenty of swagger. The Americans left licking their wounds.

The Swedes defeated the U.S. 2-1 to claim the top spot in Group C, leaving the Americans to finish in second place and setting up a quarterfinal showdown for the U.S. with Group D winner Brazil.

Sweden scored first-half goals from a Lisa Dahlkvist penalty and Nilla Fischer’s deflected free kick. The U.S. halved the deficit with a header — or, more accurately, a shoulder — from Abby Wambach midway through the second half. But it wasn’t enough to bring the Americans all the way back.

via Women’s World Cup — The U.S. comes up short in Group C — Report Card — Jeff Carlisle – ESPN.

As noted by anyone who bothers to follow womynz football of the USA variety, Abby Wambach is our best player.

She also happens to be slumping.

The booth is talking about it nonstop, because – in fairness – it is officially a story. Wambach’s second-half play is starting to show the signs of an athlete whose slump is now in her head. She’s missed several goals she would normally make in her sleep, and she’s passed up two shots – think Maverick in the air after Goose died.

USA, as a team, is playing well – very, very well. They appear to me so far to be the best team in the Cup, but Wambach (who’s missed two shots since I’ve been writing this) has to get out of her own head – USA has to have her scoring goals if we expect to advance and win.

The worst of all in a competition like this regarding a side’s best player’s slump is the fact the media will begin dwelling obsessively on it, and not without merit: with Team USA, this is THE story, which is unfortunate because Wambach’s inability to find the back of the net is overshadowing some lovely football here in teh second half – sub Rapinoe in particular is blazing at the moment, and USA is passing as fluidly as I’ve seen them do so in years. Part of that is the removal of pressure thanks to a three-goal lead, but this will be the last such match where it comes easy.

Alright, I’m going to attempt to enjoy the rest of my game and my day.

If USA wins, we’re off to the next round – we play Sweden midweek to see who wins the group.

I’m usually quite hateful about z’booters with z’hooters, but Julie Foudy has done an excellent job providing color commentary during the Cup. Although her voice is a bit unsettling, she’s staked out several interesting opinions and isn’t just a homer. She analyzes the action for the moderate fan rather than dumbing it down, which honestly is the best we could hope for being that this is A) America and b) Womynz football.

The Cup has been decent so far for a womynz tournament. I watch more WPS than I would ever admit away from the cloud of Anon, and I do think it’s had an impact on the caliber of play. This year’s Cup matches are noticeably played at a faster pace, and the distance between the best and, um, not-very-good sides has decreased.

The strange upside of America as a country not giving two shits about football even in the best of times is the WPS, which would be impossible just about anywhere else. I watch the games on Fox Soccer Channel, and it’s more interesting to me than most womnynz sports – it certainly eclipses the action in the WNBA, although in fairness, nothing can eclipse the unbridled joy of watching womynz beach volleyball at any level.

Okay, the match starts in a few, I’ll post a follow-up when I’m done here if you’re actually following these posts (yeah right).

I’m in the middle of conceptualizing my overhaul of Xtina’s battlestation and de-hoarding her garage, all the more interesting considering this is a woman I don’t have sex with. Actually, I think that probably makes it more satisfying. However, I am managing to get my World Cup on while doing this Very Important Business, so…

Yesterday’s matches were okay – Norway and Brazil got the winz, but Equatorial New Guinea, playing in its first international competition not involving cannibalism, was The Real Story – for a bunch of back-island hicks, they put on a show while losing 1-0.

Brazil was sluggish for most of their match against the Matildas, which is the name for the Australian womynz. I thought Aussie XXs were called Sheilas, but show’s what I know – my plan is to move to New Zealand by the time I’m 45, so I don’t give a fuck what they call their bitches in Australia.

/misogyny

Anyway, I’m now watching France and Canada, and a worse display of midfield passing I’m not sure I’ve ever seen, though as I write this, France’s Tieney, just ripped the best goal of Cup thus far – 25 yards out, diagonal, top corner shelf, and that’s a homegrown white girl – impressive. Canada is completely fucked and is now pretty much out of the Cup barring the Frogs melting down like [insert post-Revolution example of the French giving up here - choose any or as many as you desire].

About an hour from this writing, Germany will beat plays Nigeria – the Germans look damn good, as they always do in any sporting competition. It’s too bad about that whole Holocaust thing, because Germans have given more to the world than most other peoplz (outside Americans, of course, without whom the world would still be raping virgins on their wedding night and then stoning them for being promiscuous). As an aside to the football, I’d recommend the excellent essay from Thomas Sowell in Black Rednecks and White Liberals regarding Germany’s contributions to civilization.

But, when you go along with a smooth-talking, charismatic leader who can rile up the nation’s youth while promising to nationalize its healthcare, you get what you pay for.

/oops

Anyway, that’s all I have on the womynz cup for now – the Canadians are playing like they had a healthy dose of frumunda cheese before the match – they look bad. The French don’t look much better, but they have two goals so they don’t have to.

To close, here’s the bio of USA striker Abby Wambach, the second-best player in USA history behind, er, Mia Hamm. I think she’ll overtake Hamm before it’s all said and done with, but who knows.